Hero_With_No_Fear

[ihateflying]

There are precious few decisions that are easy.

When it comes to decisions regarding Anakin, even fewer of them are easy. The decision to never tell Anakin that his 'jokes' about Anakin being the death of him aren't really jokes? As near to easy as they come.

The decision to tell Anakin that Padme is pregnant? More difficult than any decision to date - except perhaps leaving Satine to stay with the Jedi. That he had made that decision - had that experience - may be making the decision harder. He knows what the consequences of this can be, and likely will be, and-

And allowing things to play out would be much more comfortable for him, on a number of levels. It may also well be the right thing to do.

But he has decided, so it's time to act.

He makes time to find Anakin, and says with simple directness but utter seriousness: "We need to speak. In private."

Comments

[hero_with_no_fear]

Palpatine would hate Obi-Wan for taking away something he’d worked for years to obtain. And Obi-Wan was right, Palpatine would still want him and his children. He just hated waiting.

He stood up and started pacing, because if he couldn’t run out right this minute and do something recklessly heroic, he had to get rid of his energy somehow.

“We can’t stay here. But can we even go back to Naboo? And...”

So many terrible conclusions clouded at once in his mind. “Padme’s family isn’t safe, they need to be warned, too.”

[ihateflying]

He looked down at his hands as he put them flat on the table, preparing to stand.


He noticed without noticing that his knuckles were still scraped and scabbed from his fight with Grievous. It felt like a lifetime ago. Being turned on by his troops felt like it had happened today. It didn't make sense. One had followed the other near immediately.

He pushed himself to his feet, and then stood and tracked Anakin as he paced the room. "Padme has a very good reason to take a leave of absence, if she chooses to. "Being in the public eye may provide more protection for her; she is well loved. Her family may be safe enough, unless Palpatine believes that they can be used as leverage against you. I just don't know. You need to talk to Padme and make decisions as a family -and I need to leave before you do."

He had not forgotten that argument.

[hero_with_no_fear]

“What?” Anakin had briefly forgotten that argument, but he pick up right where they left off.

“You’re not going anywhere. You look... terrible.” He’d considered other words and phrases, but decided this was the most generous way to say it.

He pointedly looked him up and down. Obi-Wan never did pause to take care of himself physically, that always landed in Anakin to see to. Much like how Ahsoka did that for him- Ahsoka!

Before they’d returned to the Core to ‘rescue’ Palpatine, Ahsoka had made contact with him and Obi-Wan, and they’d sent her off to Mandelore with some of his Clones- did they send her to her death?

He wanted to believe that he would know, the same way he did with Obi-Wan, if she had died.

But, right, the wreck in front of him.

“Sit back down, I’ll bring you the med kit.”

[ihateflying]

He'd thought of Ahsoka. He'd thought of nearly everyone. She was one of the ones that bit the deepest. He hadn't been her Master, know, but Anakin was, and she felt as close to family as anyone ever had.

"I can't stay here, it's only putting two targ-" He broke off abruptly, and blinked. "He was trying to separate us and keep us apart before. There was a reason for that. Maybe I should stay."

He was trying very hard to use reason and develop a reasonable strategy, but thinking clearly at all required effort. Out-thinking a Sith Lord? Not currently possible.

He shook his head slightly at Anakin. "I don't need a med-kit." Yes he did.

[hero_with_no_fear]

Too late, Anakin was already digging in the mag-lock cabinets for the med-kit, which, when he found it, he promptly dropped onto the table and started rummaging through for something to start cleaning Obi-Wan's wounds.

"If I can sit, you can sit," Anakin said. He knew this routine, he had to get forceful to make Obi-Wan listen to medical reason. "And you're done with the med-kit when I say you are."

[ihateflying]

Maybe the reason Obi-Wan was so very, very rarely truly angry and even more rarely showed it was because he bled it off as constant, fairly mild, irritation and annoyance. Did that count as releasing anger?

At least it gave him a distraction from... everything else.

"Blast it." He flopped back into his chair though, because this was a familiar dance and he never won. He couldn't win because if he did, Anakin could leverage it against him, and that was not a thing he wanted to cope with. "If you're going to insist on helping, could you go find me some clean clothing." That would probably be too big on him, because the Force loves to surround him with tall people. "The worst of it's actually my leg. Do not try a leg sweep on a cyborg."

[hero_with_no_fear]

Anakin very deliberately placed in front of Obi-Wan the things he'd need to start fixing himself before getting up to grab a change of clothing. Nothing would fit right, because these were Anakin's clothes, and he'd shot past Obi-Wan in height years ago. But they would do for now. And it was just one more way to keep Obi-Wan around.

"Sounds like it made sense at that time," Anakin said, coming back with the clothes. "I'm sure he deserved his legs being swept."

[ihateflying]

There really is nothing seriously physically wrong, at least - mostly cuts, bruises, and a concussion, which honestly described his near constant state of being, especially since the war. Could have done without waking up after he'd half filled his lungs with water thanks to that unconscious swim, he supposes, but even so.

He's cooperating with using the med kit because it's a meas of starting to clean himself up and put himself back in order. That, far more than medical care for the sake of medical care, he does need.

"Shooting him made sense at the time, too, and he deserved that. You don't hear me giving you warnings about that, do you?"

So he's pretty methodical about doing it, and more thorough than necessary. He doesn't just clean and treat his scraped and bruised knuckles, he actually goes on to cleaning his hands and blood and dirt from under his fingernails.

[hero_with_no_fear]

Anakin sat back down. "I'm surprised you're not, given how much you detest blasters."

[ihateflying]

He shrugs. "First rule of war: Survive."

Which isn't really how he operates - that sounds more self-serving than he is, but sometimes they all need the reminder.

He pushes his chair back and stands up, slowly.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be back in five minutes, and we can continue to discuss what we're going to do - or at least where we're going to go and how to get a message to Padme's family."

[hero_with_no_fear]

"I have never heard you say that," Anakin said. They had been through a lot, and, truth be told, Obi-Wan had the stronger moral compass.

Anakin stood up and positioned himself between the direction Obi-Wan went and the access to the hatch. He wasn't taking any chances of having his friend slip out without notice, because of some idealistic 'it's better if I don't burden you' thought. Which he was sure his friend was thinking.

[ihateflying]

It was almost as though Anakin was suspicion of Obi-Wan suddenly going along with the idea that he'd be coming with them.

Anakin was right to be.

He was frustrated for a moment, but then went further into the ship to change into Anakin's clean clothing.

"It was something Qui-Gon said to me once," he said, as he returned. He looked horrible in black. "Mostly, I think, out of exasperation."

[hero_with_no_fear]

Anakin knew Obi-Wan well, it's why they worked well together. It was why they shouldn't be separated. They would have to change, there was no doubt about that, the galaxy had changed around them in the span of a few hours. A monumental thing for an entity that was billions of years old and generally moved at the pace of millions of years.

But Anakin knew they should not part ways.

"What did he know about war?" Such a youthful thing to say, so focused on the present, and forgetful about the experience of their elders.

[ihateflying]

The Order had been Obi-Wan's entire life. He'd arrived at the Temple as an infant. Not wanting to be a burden or intrusive was certainly most of his conscious reasoning for thinking going with them was a bad idea. There was, however, part of him that was, more simply and possibly more dangerously, just shutting down in the face of having lost the framework around which his entire life had been built.

He could, at least, recognize that he and Anakin were highly effective as a team and it was just possible he could provide protection to them both. If he could get his mind to grapple fully onto that, he' manage to ground himself again.

Clean clothes and treated injuries were a good start. Sleep would help some more. Time would help the most.

Simple conversation helped, too. "There has always been war, just not on the scale of the one we fought. A good deal of the time when Qui-Gon and I were dispatched somewhere, it was due to war - often civil. He wasn't talking about survival at all costs, or even holding too tightly to your own life. It was a reminder to value your life. It was also said out of total exasperation and preceded by asking me if I was trying to get myself killed."

[hero_with_no_fear]

"Which makes it all the more strange that you've never said it to me," Anakin ribbed lightly.

Yes, this was good, get Obi-Wan talking and not focused on leaving.

"What were you doing?"

[ihateflying]

"You're always so sure of yourself and your capabilities.... Pointing out that you were going to get me killed seemed more effective."

He hasn't sat down again, but he's talking.

And he's not thinking about leaving.

"Got shot." That's a strange thing to be a fairly good memory, but there it is. He shrugs, slightly. "In the shoulder. Everyone was caught up in peace talks but I was bored to tears, so noticed something... wrong. Caught movement and did the entirely reasonable thing: I flung myself between the assassination target and blaster."

[hero_with_no_fear]

That was... accurate. Anakin never did consider the value of his own life when he jumped head first into the fray. It was his first education and he never picked up a different mindset along the way.

But he did halt everything to save the people he loved. Not that he could say so outright to Obi-Wan, but he did love his friend, would do anything to keep him alive.

Hell, he didn't even have to "love" someone to be so diverted. Countless clones he'd only just met benefited from him catching them in a moment of danger. They were clones - soldiers - it was their job to fight in battle, and yet Anakin would pause for them, if he could.

"That seems like a completely reasonable thing to do. I wouldn't have done anything different."

[ihateflying]

See? Sometimes he did pay attention.

Not that Anakin was subtle about that particular set of personality traits, and not that they weren't highlighted in the war.

"It seemed so to me at the time, too, and I said as much. Now? I can think of several possibilities that wouldn't have resulted in me being shot."

[hero_with_no_fear]

"You survived," Anakin pointed out. So it was good enough.

And it was good enough for right now.

"How is your head?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan was addressing his other wounds well, but there were other injuries, and unfortunately, outside of the standard Jedi ability to heal himself, Anakin didn't have a talent for healing. So he had to ask.

[ihateflying]

"I came much closer to being killed by Qui-"

He broke off at Anakin's question and lifted his hand to the back of his head. He'd actually forgotten about it, until it was mentioned. The second his fingers made contact, though, he winced.

Just a bit.

He stopped then, just long enough to turn his attention inward and try to do a fair assessment of his physical condition. "Cracked, along with a couple of ribs and some lingering water in my lungs. I'll handle it, later."

Meaning he would take advantage of that standard Jedi ability to heal himself.

"Are you all right? You must have felt -" All that death.

[hero_with_no_fear]

"I'm making sure you're fine first." Because Anakin was convinced if he didn't, then no one - that was including Obi-Wan - would see to Obi-Wan's health.

"There should be just enough bacta spray in the kit to patch a head injury like that. Or at least start the process."

And maybe he was doing his own dance of avoidance because thinking about how it felt to feel almost every Jedi die at once was a weight too heavy to pick up alone.

[ihateflying]

"I'll use it," he said, with narrowed gaze firmly on Anakin, "if you stop avoiding my question."

He'd had the benefit of having been knocked out. He'd felt it, but because of the timing it had simply pushed him deeper into unconsciousness as he fell. He hadn't born the brunt of it and he wasn't as sensitive as Anakin.

Nowhere near.

[hero_with_no_fear]

"I'm fine," Anakin said. He wasn't.

He was used to feeling the life of clones around him extinguish on the battlefield. It was something he hated and didn't talk about because feeling and mourning were selfish according to the Jedi. It's what they'd taught him, what Obi-Wan had taught him, and what he was doing now. Except what he'd felt was on a much more massive scale, that just meant he had to try harder to ignore what he was going through.

[ihateflying]

This, he thought with sudden clarity, is what he got for being the model of a stubborn idiot himself. Also the result of very exactly what he'd modeled when trying to function in those days after Qui-Gon's death without burdening anyone, particularly a child.

A near perfect mess of Jedi principals and his own ... personality stuff.

He drags a hand over his face.

"Anakin, with all due respect, you are a terrible liar."

Though, bonus, he's currently gotten out of caring about his own physical state or dealing with that or his emotions.

[hero_with_no_fear]

Jedi had the great ability to instill in its adherents a profound sense of lack of self worth. Individuality was meaningless in the Jedi Code. And that, layered on top of ten years being a slave - made physically and mentally lesser by being owned by someone, forgotten by the Republic and the Jedi themselves - combined in Anakin a server inability to acknowledge he had even enough value to warrant consideration, even now.

"Mas- Obi-Wan." A glaring example right there. He still defaulted to calling his friend, an equal, "Master".

"It doesn't matter." It had never mattered before. How could he naturally start accepting it did now. "What matters is figuring out what we are going to do next." As stubborn as the Jedi who'd raised him.