It had made sense at the time he first thought it. Gain access to the Master-only section of the archives, find something that could help him keep Padme from dying. And then Palpatine asked him to be liaison on the Council and Anakin had thought that was the key - he'd be a master if he was on the Council. But that didn't work out, instead, it just seemed to make life more difficult.
"I... don't know. I just thought..."
It was some inarticulable idea that the Jedi "helped," that they "had the answers." Something he'd learned as a slave and couldn't shake now even if most of what he saw was the Jedi entangled in conflict. Half the Jedi's fault, half forces working against them that they couldn't detect. But they also hadn't helped his mother.
Once you learn to distrust someone, it's hard to go forward, to try again. To believe that next time you make yourself vulnerable for someone to prove themselves, that time it won't hurt. And the shadow of his mother's visions was long.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-12-24 01:52 am (UTC)"I... don't know. I just thought..."
It was some inarticulable idea that the Jedi "helped," that they "had the answers." Something he'd learned as a slave and couldn't shake now even if most of what he saw was the Jedi entangled in conflict. Half the Jedi's fault, half forces working against them that they couldn't detect. But they also hadn't helped his mother.
Once you learn to distrust someone, it's hard to go forward, to try again. To believe that next time you make yourself vulnerable for someone to prove themselves, that time it won't hurt. And the shadow of his mother's visions was long.
"She's going to die... I've seen it."